Kill Kuato

Sunday, December 03, 1:41 PM – marco

woot chavez won again in venezuela of course. I will be pissed though if he tries to change the constitution on his length of stay in power. put him in a corner and he will tighten the reigns, proly what “they” plan to do anyway.

and was a riot watching the fiasco in the general mexican assembly of brawls and guys tumbling in suits. and to top it all off to shoe in our puppet calderon down there, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Senior Bush were invited to watch the brawls! what a fking keystone cops joke. all that will be quiet in the media though-just as noriegas win in nicaragua and probably chavez’s today. but it is obviously leaking out. if one thinks. its rather obvious that something happened in mexico. that even the left won in mexico. and by corking the volcanoe with the same party PRI? I think? things will explode. Ill try and find some fotos..better yet found a video..

here

what a riot! you can see great examples of the calm Mexican male under stress and being diplomatic at the same time. pretty cool.
google more if you want.

Sunday, December 03, 1:04 PM – marco

woke up around 11am, major headache. like the ray Liota Hannibal scene without anesthesia. I thought it was going to become more difficult “healing” since my lucidity is coming back more and more and when you have more mental status, you are intune to more pain.

I am slower today than yesterday. I still have not moved my neck. Tomorrow at 7am will be 1 week from being intubated for the operation.

Wen called to say our Snakefish has died. We had him for 5 yrs. and our 50 gallon tank is infested with some fungus. It better not be kuato or I will be pissed.  myfishtype

WEll Everything is still slow motion. I watched bubbles break on top of a blueberry shake, tried to watch a riveting bikini scene in “Big Mommas House 2” and thumbed through some gripping and jaw dropping accounts in my moms “cottage living” magazine.

this day is dedicated to my ropefish who has passed on to the other side-the snakefish that Wen had threatened to throw into the snow many times-but had a “velorio” today for him by placing the last half of his body on a rock outside.
See you on the other side Buddy.
Will post later tonight

Sunday, December 03, 10:18 PM – marco

almost ready to crawl into bed.
Bad headache wakeuptoday-almost to nausea.

I didn’t go for a brisk air “ghost float” around my house today-like I did yesterday…I was to overwhelmed with stimuli in one ear and vertigo.

Showers feel really good, i just stand in the shower like a wilted tree and enjoy the water going over my head.
my “no ear” feels like an appendage-a cauliflower with no purpose.-that last piece of playdoh carving you need to cutoff to make the perfect shape in kindergarden. I also feel as if I am slowly acquiring a “bionic ear” on my right.

Later, I will post some photoshop analogies about what its like to lose 1 ear and still have 1 other but with 2 eyes.

I also have sensed the calm culture of the deaf by really sealing up my good ear for about 4 hrs.
I can’t hear my mom! woot!

no time for photoshop. image here.

half head

Saturday, December 02, 7:48 PM – marco

ok…from follow up MRI–it is now Friday and I am in Home state.
-WE left the hosp-then to the hotel, rested then we drove SantaMonica freeway to LA then over the hollywood hills into Riverside to a nice new MRI office. i’ll get the name later.. was a nice place. and they even offered earplugs-even though my left did not need one. (CWH in Wenatchee did not even offer earplugs. You DO NOT want to be Lucid -have a mental status of a 5 1-5 scale while going in because you tend to listen to every single knock and ping-and it throws you into a 45 minute industrial wave like music concert without END…the scene of Jimmy Stewart falling out the window-first pre op MRI I had that Dxed kuato was in October-was very bad. This time my Mental status was very low so I just dozed and tranced off. from 1-5 throughout dc from hospital and after MRI I was at a 2.8. I pretty much mumbled @ Shahinians post op.

So ya lets talk about LOC or Level of Consiousness.in EMS and I’m sure in the OR they used the http://www.trauma.org/scores/gcs.html I will just use a simple version of 1-5. 1 is that I am out drooling like a vegetrbal and 5 I am lucid and talking. so all morning pre op I am 5 joking laughing with the staff-then o2 is on, im laughing at a 5-then shoot down to a 0 for 12 hrs. then woke up at about a level 1. creeping death. slowly going up and down the ladder (this is when nurses are wiping your ass and you don’t care, catheter etc). my days crawled by from Mond 6pm after surgery to DC at 1030 on Thurs. They rolled me out in a wheel chair, I was about a 2.75 getting to the hotel. Thank God for AntiVERT!

Slept nice night at hotel and left for LAX last night around 7pm. they wheeled me to the flight in a chair. I didnt want to but mommy insisted. I was am still getting visual tracking down with 2 eyes and 1 ear instead of 2×2-and walking even though you look blind is better to train your gait instead of wheeling around in a chair-makes you dizzy.
We get into the plane and I just tranced out. snailed back to a 2.8 eyes closed- the type of look that makes others touch your shoulder and say “you ok”.

The flight was uneventful except for my imagination letting loose like everyones probably does-what if we crash-why is the hostess concerened about the glass “becoming a missle” if we are all falling into the ocean..what if a one of those yellow oxy bags falls on my head..hey wiat sir I get to go to the bathroom first because I just had a brain operation-but hell what the concern if we are all flailing in slowmotion waiting to impact anyway-then just a calming equalizing thought of death as we were up to around maybe 400 mph on the ground belly tipping up to the sky-and I-ready to hit a wall.

boom we were liftoff-then my friend James came to mind who was working for NASA-hughes at the time that Alaska Airline fell into the ocean a few years before, I recalled him giving me a talk your ear off scientific reason for the back tip wing falling off when I just imagined a childhood balsawood airplane back wing fitting wrong-then the lady asked me what I would like to drink and we were on our way to seattle.

I thought alot of death that flight and let my mind “go there”-reminiscing on the tv shows that were in my recovery room. http://au.movies.yahoo.com/Inside+I’m+Dancing/movie/12522/trailers/ blew me away and after watching documentary about IEDs in Iraq-where first 3 amputations get triaged to care and the others within the blast wave look fine-and resend them back with their platoon-but have sustained TBIs-memory loss and such. kind of humbled me. then a 18 yo on a cane with a fake eye that was maybe 14 seeing the towers fall-made me think there will always be someone worse than me. like that metallica song “one”-no limbs no sight no hearing-always somebody in worse condition. makes me feel better.
http://tinyurl.com/y63wwe

I need to go. “my head hurts”.

Thursday, November 30, 1:21 PM

thanks eric.
I am back, my lucidity is not so this may be blurry. I am slow mo now. typing slow.
got dced from hospital this morning. shahinian came in at about 7am, did some eye tracking excersises. sore eyes. I cant tear up on my left eye nor saliva left side.
he said it was a success, with traditional aproach-facial paralysis left side. so im happy. my grin and eyebrow lift is weaker on left…

so….heres what i remember as i try not to pass out.

the darn forum I belong to got me psyched up for this like i was going to a football game all happy n shit, yeahehae im getting a drill in my head bring it on yahoo.me and my wife were escorted into “the basement” and we were in a surgery prep room with sheets dividing, one other black guy was in their with me, some slavic lady boot on a goofy blue hat on me and bootie slippers, as the gregorian chant music was going ovre the speakers, welcoming us or preparing us to go to heaven or something.

nurse came to me introduced himself. looked chinese later found out was salvadoran, met a big white guy that was my facial nerve monitor, then a young ass anestesiologist, that looked 25 yo. asked questions-allergies etc.

they then wheeled me into a green tile walled old school OR that looked like something in guatemala.the anest put 02 on my face and I was joking in salvadoran slang with 2 salvy OR nurses, and told them “no me mandas la ciguanaba“-they laughed hard. Salvadoran legend joke.

Then BOOM I woke up at 6pm wigging out in a bed at 45degrees filipina nurse attending me couldnt sleep all night long, my arterial IV in my had came out wo me knoeing squirting all over, she had to wipe the blood off the bed.

I had artery lead in my left foot with vein, and artery lead in left hand, maybe other area. to monitor BP during operation.

vertigo was worst, eye tracking in peripheral vision of following my finger up to scratch my face put me into hurlandia. and threw up not much nothing, I mightve left the sunday night lasagna that had at daves on the floor of the or or crapped my diapers wo knowing. its a mystery where that bowel movement ran off too.

at2 i called the nurse accidently turning on the TV withjerrry springer crowd yyellins woowooowoohwoowhowwyoow, spun me into vertigo then auto bp cuff pressure started pumpin up, was vertigo land, was really bad.

shahinian stopped by at 4am, said hi, did facial motor verification, mouth eyelift weaker on left side, no tearing or saliva yet tumor was 5cm from internal ear canal pressing on brain stem cerebellum. and since its not there my stem is swinging back to vacant space, and that probably blended with vestibular nerve being gone(balance and hearing, my whole tracking is off eye-gait walking and will take time to line up.

first night our of or i slept maybe every 10 minutes, long ass night. w2nd night was about 30 minutes. then they decided to extend stay at hosp for vertigo probs.

Got a great laugh at the irony of turning on the TV again and it was a soap opera hospital scene unconscious with a creep staring in the windo, watched the nurse leave, snuck in, grabbed a pillow-yeah u know the scene. I laughed hard. The Simpsons helped too, and the Spanish version TV show of REPO man, pretty good and funny. then a weird ton of documentaries about traumatic brain injuries from iraq, from IEDs, memory loss, should’ve died stuff, young like 18-20 yolds. show called californiaconnection.com good journalism. then it was law and order special victims unit, some kid in a fantasy video game world, helping an abused black foster sister that was murdered by an evil caregiver for “peeing her pants” that got me prepped for some good ol HBO Scarface! just watched the scene where the guy gets thrown dangling from the helicopter, and last half of the chainsaw scene where he already starts to escape and shoots the Colombian in the street-then me and my parents watched the end firefight scene, my mom was disturbed but my dad and I watched it through. empowered me a bit watching how many bullets he took at the end and was still kicking.

so ya yesterday was wed. I think i watched tv till am channel surfing through another repeat of scarface and dozed, felt a lil queezy at 3am , and they dced me today at about 10 after qwik wipedown. i need to go now, follow up mri at 230