Tuesday, December 05, 1:45 PM – marco
woke up about 11am. CSF leakage yesterday, lastnight and some this morn. just seepage.
my mental/physical endurance is slowly coming back.
I was able to last through a whole lunch with grandpa without closing my eyes or retreating like a snail into trance land.
Last night I had my first lapsed sleep, lapsed sleep is when your eyes open and you are awake, but you try and move but your body is not awake-like paralysis-so slowly wo trying to panic. move my toe back and forth, still nothing-panic sat in-and I started jiggling my leg back and forth–c’mon c’mon!
Then one last kick, and BOOM, was able to wake up. heavy breathing, my body was soo tired and it felt drawn like a magnet back to sleep. I imagined those old 80s Freddy movies and was able to stay awake for another hour.
cut camera frame-no time reference-
my eyes open-body asleep again-paralyzed but conscious.
and in my peripheral vision I see someone to the right of my bed-panic sets in like a burning teapot whistle. then awake startled and pissed off at my mom who was awaiting my lucidity to reprimand me about not sleeping at 45′
I came to pretty fast and glad it didn’t last as long as the first sleep lapse. There probably is a scientific word for sleep lapse but I don’t have time to google it.
that smidgen of time of lapse though with my mom at the bed seemed to last forever, it was as if she were Kathy Bates waiting to serve me soup in *Misery*
It’s my entire fault though; I am almost back to stupid pre op normality with watching TV till 2am.
Had settled on a u2 live in Italy show.
I needed to test my monohearing.
I was happy with the few songs I heard, no glaring pains in my heart knowing which song would sound fukt. w or wo u sounded ok, melodic, calm.
I was glad I had missed streets had no name since I know it was going to sound fukt-edges layered guitars coming in a wave to envelope you at the start-but for me now perhaps the thrill of an oncoming duck being shot out of the air,-but with that song I would’ve been able to see if I could tear on my left side -that’s for sure. Bono sang in Italian too which was cool, flashed me back to a Maiden concert vid i saw in France. Bruce Dickinson
sang in French.
Then it was off to bed…as we all do..but wait..the foofighters are next! @ hyde park, so i posteponed bed to see what foofighters sounded like. They came onstage and I anticipated the sound, my fingers gripping the couch.
Hell.
they had started playing and I didn’t even know. I was in awe with the crowd too they weren’t doing crap-standing and clapping your hands at a foofighter show wtf.
There was even a girl holding a balloon in the front row. What the heck is that. She should’ve been arrested. Then I saw the reason. Dave Grohls face had melted. He was old. I was old. the world was old. It was not ffighters 1995 and it sure as hell wasn’t the longhair octopus drum player I saw playing with his old band 10/31/91 Seattle, WA Paramount theater. HERE! live video of BreedNirvana- copy n paste
Now that’s DAve Ghrohl. I don’t know who the imposter onstage at hydepark was. and if you watch the above video DO IT!-the guy that jumped onstage-he sure as hell wasn’t carrying a balloon.
So I grabbed the remote and hit it off.
I walked towards my bedroom pistoff at the ffighter betrayal. I wobbled my way to the bathroom and looked at the mirror. OH man what was I talking about Dave’s face for.
I had turned into Herman Munster.
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